2004-04-15 - 7:48 p.m.
Has anyone ever told you that life sucks? I don't think I have ever been so depressed in my entire life.... When I stop drinking, I realize who I truly am, and I don't like it. I don't like who I am unless I am skinny, drunk, and wearing new clothes. I have run out of money and now I feel pathetic, useless.........i don't give a crap about anyone but myself, it's true. I just don't care, and I doubt I even care that much about myself. I wish I could just dig myself into a dark hole and fade away.... I wish I wasn't here....... I think the reason I am such a bitch to people is, I like inflicting pain, I think that they need to feel as much pain as I think I am in.........that is screawed up........i need out............
